“Scha-wing And A Miss!” (Ohio State University)

Damn. That’s all I can say about tonight. I’m pretty disappointed with myself. I felt like I had this one in the bag. This event was tailor-made for me and I should have absolutelyy murdered it. I thought I sucked. I HATE it when I leave an engagement saying, “I would have done XYZ” had I only been more prepared. This is one of the worst feelings you can feel as a speaker.

I know it showed on my face, too. I’m not that good at hiding my emotions.

When I feel it, I show it. Unfortunately, people know me as the high-energy, always happy guy, so when things are amiss, the contrast is blaring.

JUST TO BE FAIR

Unless this is your first time reading one of my blogs, you know I am 100 times harder on myself than others are on me. I’m knit-picky and a perfectionist. Case in point-I got a standing ovation tonight and we did question and answer for an additional 20 minutes and people STILL lined up to ask me questions afterward. One girl cried and hugged me and cried some more because she was so touched by my message.

ANYHOW…BACK TO THE TALK

I sucked. I started off out of sync and it took me too long to get back in rhythm. In my blog from day 2 of Virginia, I mentioned how easy it is to slip into a routine and fail to be present. That was me tonight. If I didn’t have an introductory 10 minutes that was so solid, I would be dead. Tonight, it was all about the power of having a tight message because the messenger was WIGGIDY WACK! I found myself stammering a little, trying to rev myself up to a point where they too were fired up. But my mind was elsewhere. I couldn’t concentrate. I was so focused on adding the new material into my customary outline, I found myself prancing around, hoping to find a “hot spot.” It never happened. Not like I wanted to. I made some good points, but that doesn’t matter. Unless they are strung together in a beginning/middle/end sequence with a powerful punchline, it all  sounds like rhetoric. I felt like a motivational speaker tonight, not a messenger. I don’t like motivational speakers, fyi.

The one bright spot did happen in the end when I pulled it all together. The theme of the week was PURPOSE and I challenged them to find their purpose by serving people. This came in the Q & A. I really ripped it on that one. I admonished them not to tie their purpose to a paycheck but to the people they’ll help with the money they get. I then SLAMMED all the moaning and complaining that students do about what they can’t have, who doesn’t like them, etc and said, “Get off the damn sidelines and do something about it!” I felt like I was back to being 100% me at that point. I am very “in your face” and I am true to my point of view. I will love on you then I’ll turn around and tell you to dust yourself off and go fight another round.

If there is a lesson to be had here, it was the power of preparation. Had I taken just a littlemore time to write out my argument, I wouldn’t have been so afraid to relax and trust the Voice in my heart. I would have had the courage to step aside from my default and try new things. I don’t speak again for another week, so hopefully the wounds will remain fresh enough to motivate me to put in the 10 minutes that will make the difference.