Jonathan Sprinkles – When Things REALLY Don’t Go Well On Stage

I have to admit, I am really confused right now. I have no idea what to say about my recent experiences. I couldn’t even begin to give you a blow-by-blow account of the last five schools I’ve spoken for. I can tell you that this orientation season has been my busiest ever. While I’m certainly no Dave Coleman or SwiftKick (those guys are gone for six weeks at a time), I have been, by my standards, on the go. I’m writing this in a Hilton hotel lobby, not sure what to make of everything I have experienced over the last fortnight.

 On one hand, I rocked University of Baltimore, Blacks in Government (not an orientation) and Tyler Junior College (not an orientation). But that was it. I felt like I freakin’ sucked at all the others. I felt like a father, preaching to his kids about something they could care less about. I even walked away yesterday saying, “Whatever, I don’t care…I don’t care…I don’t care.” But I do care. I knew I was lying. I was hurt because I felt I lost a hold on my audience and my skills at the same time. I felt boring. Corny. Un-hilarious. Exactly what I think of most motivational speakers when I’m in the audience. This trip, I feel like I’m a part of that crowd.

I’m certain about a couple things. For sure, I’m bored. I am not growing as a speaker. I’m not sharp. I’m ‘presenting,’ not speaking. My mind isn’t sharp but I act like I’m afraid to step out and try something new. I have three days of content, but I’m choosing to play it safe at the last minute for fear of going down a place I can’t come back from during a talk. Motivational crap aside, I do believe that being comfortable is the worst possible place to be. It’s dangerous because you cap your success. But when you can speak for 75 minutes without even being fully conscious and people still give you positive feedback, it’s hard to switch.

I know this isn’t true, but I feel like I’m going in a downward spiral. Every time I think about four of my orientation talks, I cringe, like imaging seeing your child get hit by a car. This isn’t what I imagined it would be. Not hardly. I don’t even remember who spoke for my college orientation. I kinda feel like I’ll be in that same category for the class of 2013.

Orientations are different because, like graduation, they really don’t want you there. You are a road bump, an interloper. You are the only thing standing between them and lunch or free time. If you’re not funny or swallowing fire (a la Curtis Zimmerman), the shorter your talk, the better. You have to be “bringing it” every minute of your talk. Very compelling stories. Very interactive. Very relevant. Otherwise, you’re talking to a group of people who is wondering why you are there and even moreso, when are you going to leave.

One of my comrades pointed out to me this evening that this generation is the first who isn’t impressed with something unless they see themselves in it. They don’t take pictures, they take self-portraits. Everyone under 25 knows how to aim the camera at themselves and take accurate photos without looking at the viewfinder. Digital photography has made it such that, if you don’t like the first photo (or five), you delete it and try again. When we had film in cameras, that luxury didn’t exist. My point is, they are self-indulgent. If you can’t involve them in your talk and invite them on stage, you’re wasting your breath. Your funky little story means nothing unless they can take part in the action.

I’m going to figure this thing out. I’m having ‘a moment’ right now, but I’ll be back. I’ve been told that most top comedians get to a point in their career where they question whether they are still funny. I understand the feeling. I’m not worried at all. I embrace the adversity as an opportunity to finally move up to an even higher level in my game. I will go down as a legend. I actually hope that statement makes you laugh. If so, please inform me. I will be sure to invite you to the ceremony.

What am I saying???

I’m so bitter tonight! Lol.

SPRINKLE OF WISDOM:

Everyone has good talks and bad talks. One good outing won’t make your career and one bad one won’t break your career. Get over it and more importantly, get over yourself. If the focus is on how YOU look, you are already losing. If you obsess over helping the man or woman in your audience who really, really needs to hear your message, your ego will shrink and your performance will increase. No matter how badly it goes, someone was blessed by your words. Start with that, then objectively evaluate your next move from there.

Also, if you can identify with most of what I’ve said, you most likely need someone to help you avoid costly mistakes and pull more out of you than you knew was in there. It may be a good idea to come to Presentation Power so you can get someone to work out the kinks in your presentations that may be keeping you from getting rebooked or closing more sales.